I had to put pants and a bra on today. And we had pizza for dinner. – A Short Story

Not jeans. Not jammies. Work pants. AND A FORKING BRA.

After a two week holiday I had to go back to work, and actually work in the office, so pants and a bra were required. I thought I’d go all out too – I wore heels.

Putting pants on did make me feel better; wearing a bra did not, but we all have to make sacrifices. I felt cute and a little sassy in my leopard print heels. And I really did miss working in the office, it makes my “businesses” (as the gremlin’s say) easier and I get to be around other humans. The only thing I need to work on is convincing my boss lady that I need to bring my dogs to work because they miss me too much while I’m gone. If I write a petition, would you be willing to sign? Yes? Perfect.

Today is also supposed to be day 1 of working out again after the holiday. Spousal Unit and I decided that ordering pizza and hanging out with the kids so we could all watch Cobra Kai together was a better use of our time though. Sometimes you just have to do what’s right.

There was also a very competitive game of chess between Eldest Gremlin and the Spousal Unit. I need to transcribe their banter the next time they play because the commentary does not disappoint.

BY THE WAYYYYYYYY – shout out to Little Caesars because they fixed our ordered so fast tonight.

Quick story time: I ordered pizza to be delivered because none of us wanted to cook dinner and Spousal Unit convinced me that we shouldn’t work out today because he’s on his period. That freakin’ pizza arrived within 20 minutes, so fast!

So Spousal Unit tips the man, I grab the pizza boxes like a food goblin and run to the kitchen. They have those little orange stickers on the box that say “for your safety” or something like that, and I always imagine that I have to cut the sticker super carefully so that I don’t set off an imaginary bomb. The pizza for the girls and I is pristine! We order the regular crust with just sauce and then add vegan cheese at home. There is a sigh of relief at this point because our pizza order is wrong every 3rd time or so, but not today humans.

Then I turn to Angel’s pizza box. I’m never worried about his pizza because it’s not a weird order like ours is. He orders a cheese pizza with pineapple and jalapenos, no big deal right? I carefully disarm the sticker bomb and open the lid… y’all, there is pepperoni, sausage, Canadian bacon, bell peppers, and onions on his pizza. I check the sticker on the lid because maybe there’s a chance that I ordered wrong (but not really, that’s a big ass difference in pizza toppings). The sticker on his box says KAYLA and the correct order. Well hell. I check my pizza box, no sticker. So I have to assume that they just slipped the wrong pie into the box.

Life lesson – watch were you slip your pie.

I let Spousal Unit know and he asks what are we going to do. He knows damn well that I will have a panic attack if I have to return something, but he is installing new tech and is in the middle of it. Mother forkin’ freaker squeaker. He says he’ll go when he has time but I know it’s up to me to fix this. I call Little Caesar’s and the young gentleman on the phone apologizes 800 times when I tell him what happened, and that we would have just eaten it but my husband is vegetarian so I need to order another pizza. This man of honor tells me that he will have another pizza ready in 10 minutes, on the house!

I take the pizza to our neighboring carnivore family because we don’t let food go to waste here. Our neighbors don’t question us when we bring over a random pizza because they already know. Little Caesar’s is about 5 minutes away, so by the time I get there, the pizza is ready.

I walk in and tell the guy I’m here for a jalapeno and pineapple pizza. He already knows and is apologizing again while I’m telling him that it’s really okay. I started feeling even more anxiety because he was apologizing so much and I felt bad that I was making him feel bad.

Then this sweet angel of a pizza slinger said that he felt bad because we are vegetarian and we had to look at meat on our pizza.

That is a new level of customer service. Little Caesar’s, this dude needs a raise. It really wasn’t a big deal but this guy made it a big deal and fixed the problem. Gold star sir!

Thanks for attending Monday night story time with me.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

❀ La Lady Valdez

***Amendment (because otherwise Spousal Unit will give me angry eyes) – I am the one who actually convinced Spousal Unit that we didn’t need to work out tonight. But he is on his period…… still love you babe!

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