Down the rabbit hole I go…

It’s taken me years to build the courage to find tarot card deck. Or to let the right one find me.

There are so many beautiful decks with artwork ranging from modern to Celtic inspired, made from different materials, thin or weighted paper. There are literally so many options that it can be overwhelming. So even though I was eager and interested in learning about tarot, I was nervous to find the right deck to start with.

There I was, standing in Barnes and Noble of all places, staring at 20 different tarot card decks. Tiny Gremlin was sitting at my feet whisper-reading her new Dog Man book that she was ready to purchase with her Christmas money. I had a hot coffee in my hand, a heavy Target bag on my wrist, and a gift for my friend’s baby in the nook of arm so that my one free hand could assess the boxes on the shelf in front of me.

I’ve looked at decks in big box stores, in indie hipster shops, in tiny Wiccan supply stores, in smoke shops, and even online, if only to study the artwork and learn more about them. I always wondered how to pick the right one. How would I know which was the deck best suited to me? My research said I had to feel it, it needed to call to me.

Well, here we were years later and I have a coffee in one hand and no tarot cards in the other. Patience is a virtue.

But then it was there. A pretty, creepy, spooky, flowery deck of antique anatomical drawings. There was one left.

That’s it, my heart said.

Really? Here? In Barnes and Noble? I was just looking for fun. I was actually looking for a new book on kitchen witchery so I can incorporate more manifestations and intent filled herbs into my everyday cooking. I had imagined myself with a deck full of classic tarot illustrations, chalk full of colors and detailed drawings waiting to be interpreted.

Fine, okay – you go Glen Coco. I’m not going to argue because as soon as I picked it up and turned the box in my hand, Tiny Gremlin said “Are you buying that? Can we go home now?”. A coincidence? Probably. But I took it as a sign from the universe telling me to stop arguing and just take the fucking thing home.

The deck came with a guidebook which has been so helpful with the basics. I am a slow learner y’all, but if there is a will, there is a way. I read until my eyes were heavy but I really wanted to try to pull one card, just to see what would happen.

A good shuffle, a whispered question – how will my day go at work tomorrow? Something simple, easy to interpret.

suit. Elixers, fig. Knight

The guidebook said that the Knight of Elixirs, in relation to a situation, “appears in a reading when a caring and affectionate disposition is needed”. The purple flowers express prophecy.

My first thoughts as I studied the guidebook’s interpretation of the card – Fantastic, because we all know that is my first instinct, to be caring and affectionate. Second of all, don’t tell me what to do.

I had to remember that this is a choice, that I am seeking guidance from the universe or aliens or my subconscious, whomever it is that is speaking to me. My instinct is to rage against anyone telling me what my path will be. This is going to be more difficult that I thought.

That was last night. Today went by and I didn’t think once of my reading last night until I sat down to blog this evening. Did my reading hold any truth for my day? Were there any situations in which I needed to find that compassionate disposition that hides somewhere in my dark heart?

Yes. Early this morning my fearless leader (aka my boss) reached out to me asking for help. I was specifically requested by an individual for assistance. I have helped this person before and man, it drained my energy; but during that time they needed me and I stuck with it. And now I was being called to service again. I contemplated my answer, but decided that even though this would be difficult and despite my hesitations to go another round in the ring, this person needed me again and I would be there. My inherent ability to trudge along despite the storm helps me in these situations.

So there was my “caring and affectionate disposition” for the day. Okay, Mr. Knight of Elixirs, you win.

Now to be truthful, my logical brain struggles with tarot because the mind is a powerful thing in the hands of suggestion. But my heart is pulled to it.

We will see how this journey goes.

OH! PS – I totally forgot to cleanse my deck last night before the reading, so I did that today. A few sweeps through the smoke of incense stick and then a nice nap in a ring of salt will do the trick. Maybe I’ll try another reading tomorrow after it’s energy is clean and clear.

❀ La Lady Valdez

Here is the deck I purchased ( I bought it at Barnes & Noble but you can also get it on Amazon; same price) – https://www.amazon.com/Antique-Anatomy-Tarot-Kit-Guidebook/dp/141973914X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1OOAY7PUTKFXC&dchild=1&keywords=the+antique+anatomy+tarot&qid=1612242683&sprefix=the+antique+anat%2Caps%2C201&sr=8-1

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